What’s the matter?

Posted by Kirsten Hagfors MEM/MBA 2013

On Wednesday, our fearless leader, “Double Dukie” and triple Habitat Global Village volunteer Dan B. went over the logistics of our trip. (Readers beware! We will be differentiating between Dan and Daniel. Followers of the Duke Cotopaxi adventure will understand this caution.)

Beyond the basics, Dan shared an interesting perspective on the methods of service, identified as the “Styles of Engagement” in The Nazareth Manifesto by the Reverend Dr. Sam Wells (current Dean of Duke University Chapel and Research Professor at Duke Divinity School). Now, I’m not particularly spiritual, especially not in terms of religious institutions, but the paper and the reasoning challenged my understanding of the impacts of addressing the question, “What’s the matter?”

The matter, Wells claims, is scarcity. Fundamental resources, health, wellness, nutrition, shelter, wealth… it goes on and on endlessly. Problem defined. I’ll turn that into my Management Communications professor. Done, right?

Not exactly, next we want to consider why we engage. Wells reasons that we are all needy. The haves, the have-nots and everyone in between. We all lack something that we are searching to gain.

Now we come to how we engage. This was the keystone for me. I’ll bullet it for visual clarity.

• Working for. Do things on behalf of other people. Conventional engagement:  skills, availability willingness to help satisfying a need. An example is helping someone with groceries. It leaves the expert feeling good, but it doesn’t necessarily leave the recipient feeling great since it perpetuates a relationship of inequality.
• Working with. Wait for someone to define his or her needs and support the person in the action to address those needs. Common goal: bringing skills and experience together in partnership. An example is empowering the homeless with the means to cook their own meals instead of serving them in a shelter. It realizes that the journey is as important as the destination.
• Being with. See, feel, experience the emotions and core issues of the situation. It removes the distinction between the person receiving benefits and the person giving them. An example is sharing meals with people. This interaction recognizes each individual’s needs, creating an environment of mutually beneficial exchange. To me, this is the ultimate service. Help me, help you is transformed to help me, help myself.

For more insights from The Rev. Dr. Wells on serving the under-served, the sermon in this video addresses the ways that  we give (skip to 26 minutes in):

I’ve pulled the key takeaways as your “CliffsNotes” reader:

• Give with your head. Stick to the three R’s: Routine, Realism, Relationships.
• Give with your hand. See, touch and embrace humanity.
• Give with your heart. Turn your eagerness into tangible contributions.
• Giving with your head and hand changes others. Giving with your heart changes you.

And one last line from T.S. Eliot: “The last temptation is the greatest treason: To do the right deed for the wrong reason.” And with that, I’m excited to give with my heart and pursue the be with style of engagement in Zambia with the team; now I’m off to search for the right reason!